Fare Well, Whitey

My apologies for so belatedly posting.  The gentleman in the picture, Pat Schlabes' husband Whitey, went down swinging...long after anyone would have predicted.  Crusty? sure, nothing less would have got him through the circumstances of his life.  Tough?  He was so tough the only people who could endure more or scold more accurately in my experience were women.  He mellowed with age. He was the man that came to my mind whenever anyone tossed out the phrase "tough love".  He invented it all on his own.  His lessons were simple, and like most good teaching,  hard to live up to...I hope I never forget them.

Text of the Obituary

Jean C. Adams
The patient mother of Grace, George, John and Willard (Woody), grandmother of nine thriving young adults and widow since 1975 of Jack Adams, passed away at age 92 on October 18, 2008 at the Regent Care facility in Reno, NV. Born in New Haven, MO on September 17,1916, to Henry Werges and Meta (Bullinger) Werges, Jean's life spanned almost a century and half a continent in a quintessentially American journey, serving others all along the way. After graduating high school Jean eventually found work in depression era St. Louis, MO. When WWII broke out she joined the Marine Corps Waves in the Mojave Desert. Both fresh out of uniform, Jack and Jean met in 1945 and married in 1946 in Los Angeles. Jean kept the books for the farm while bringing up four head strong baby boomers on a farm near Davis, CA. After the family moved to Reno in 1964, she was a homemaker, then worked for the State of Nevada Health Department and Services to the blind and finally worked for the Cal Neva Casino in Reno, from which she retired. Unassuming durability and grace under adversity got her through the many trials of her life. Quiet and without any airs or self-promotion she rewarded those who got to know her with a wonderful mix of strong opinions, vivid recollections and long lasting friendships. Exemplary fiscal prudence enabled Jean to get above the modest financial circumstances of her stints in the workforce, to live to her last day entirely on her own income and to travel to many world destinations with her sister Myra in her golden years. An independent soul who taught independence, our seamstress, cook, model of calm and all around backstop "Mommie" will be thought of fondly as long as we who knew her live.

Carrying on her legacy are her sons George and his wife Velda of Lincoln, MA, children Sherry, Dan and Sammy; John and his wife Heidi of Reno, children Dawn, Andrea, and Nikki; Willard (Woody) and his wife Bonnie of Reno, children Todd and Tory; and daughter Grace Sisco and her husband Jim of Mooresville NC, child Becky; and her sister Myra Walden of Fairview Heights, IL.

A gathering honoring her life will take place in November…

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Note: text may vary from actual published versions...we have four cities to cover, representing about 4 generations of mom's friends and family and the papers have slightly different formats and required content for obituaries.

-George

Another Loss

Jean was a pal. She brought her own friends to the tribe and all dad's friends became hers as well. All through the years Jack and Jean farmed around Davis, the Adamses and the Schlabes were good friends, partying together and sometimes pitching in on each others projects. When both families were together, which was often, the shared ideas about how kids ought to be raised made for a kind of blending. If I was out of line and Pat was nearest, she'd straighten me out. Jean and Pat were in the same boat: each with a brood of rambunctious kids and a husband who worked constantly to make a living in agriculture...and the two of them could sure make a kitchen come alive.

The picture, circa late 60s or early 70s, shows Pat just the way she was: beaming and very interested in you when she was talking to you. I can only remember Pat with that 500 watt smile. Sadly, memory will have to serve. The same week as Jean passed away, we lost Pat. We are all in shock because Pat was the picture of vitality. Jean's granddaughter, Sherry, recalls meeting Pat just weeks before. She was sprightly and peppered Sherry with questions about how she was doing...that was Pat.

-George

Introduction

Jean Adams 1916 -- 2008

This blog is not a blog.

It is a kind of guest book and memorial web site for Jean Adams. The main contributors will probably be her children, grandchildren and children-in-law. When we figure out how to organize it, the features that allow visitors to leave notes or comments will be enabled. Having passed on at the ripe old age of 92, we realize few of the handful of her contemporaries who are still alive will be in a condition to trek up to Reno on short notice. I can almost hear her in my minds ear saying "How are y'all going to have a wake with no whiskey?" Virtual has is virtues however. This "blog" can serve as a slow motion memorial service...a pace "Mommie" would appreciate.

There really wasn't much surprising or even sad about Mommie's passing. She was tired and, in perfect keeping with her character through the worst and best of her life, accepting. Fuss and drama were not her style and the pomp of a ceremony was something she specifically asked us not to indulge. That is why I launch this little cyber memorial in a not terribly downcast tone, though I miss her...all the family inform me that a "celebration of a full life" is proper intent for this and I agree.

This woman was a great example of how little a big ego or a reputation have to do with a successful life. Hers was a long life and she chose to work for the successes that really matter and she achieved them. Measured against the difficulties her generation and she personally over came, her fullfillments are the more remarkable. The independence and self-sufficiency of her children having been high on the short list of things Mommie labored and cajoled to bring about, we who bring these stories are grateful for her life and each have much to be thankful for in her influences on us. We will probably continue for quite some time to realize or discover good things large and small that she imparted to us.

I anticipate that many of the posts here will be remembrances, stories from our various times and adventures [and lessons] with Jean that family and friends can recount and share. If you are not on the list of enabled contributors, just send along your story by mail of any sort or call one of the family, and I will put it up here. Bits of biography may come in from the years before most of us were born, pictures, appreciations and anecdotes....all that stuff that "tells your life" to others will be welcomed here. I know from my futile attempts to drag mommie into the computer age that a few people who might most enjoy what we mean to share here will not be handy with browsers or perhaps have access to the high speed internet connection that makes this tool convenient. If I hear from such folks, I can reformat this for printing and send along hard copy installments if and as the stories accumulate. Large print edition available at no extra charge!

Matriarch of blue nosed mules is a working title...some will wonder if it has some political reference. Not at all, as far as I know. Often when I was being a thoughtless child, she would tell me I had "the manners of blue nosed mule". I suppose it is an expression from the "Missourah" of her youth but I don't know...never heard it from any other person in my life. Some more dignified title [but lets don't get carried away with dignity] may come to me later. Mom didn't tell many jokes...she found more than enough to laugh at in her everyday observations of the world.

One trove of history that I have been sitting on for two years is Jean's collections of photos. Most are from our family life and her world travels as a retiree but many also come from WWII era when history uprooted young Americans and tossed them across the continent like so many dice...I will try to scan and put up the ones that best seem to tell her story.

-George

further fussing with the blog title

I am post-dating this entry to keep it out of sight. As I said in the introduction, "Matriarch of Blue Nosed Mules" was a working title. I never ever, not even when forbidden to do so at gun point, avoid a chance to make a pun. So today, [which is actually October 30] the title has become Jeanieology.

-George